THIS IS IT! | | 3 + 1 Important Marital Lessons from Tee and Dede.

Hey Tribe,

How’s the week going?

Mine has been super stressful. The last time I had this much stress was probably during the completion of my final year project last year. Oh dear Lord, it was quite a time!

It’s amazing how things that seem like they would never ever end do that… End!

I have been thinking about writing this for so long for three major reasons;

I was so in love with these characters.

This was such a beautiful, but relatable story.

Nick Mutuma (Tee) is my husband, full stop (Don’t even argue with me)

I found out about this series through my husband’s Instagram. Now, if you don’t know ‘This Is It’, please go now after reading this, go and watch it.

Quick Synopsis

Dede (23) and Tee (26) are a young couple who are newlyweds, and we go through their daily struggles with life and all its shenanigans. From work to difficulty in procreation and friendships, we get to see a brief view of what the first year of marriage could entail.

Personally, I aspire to marriage (eventually)… more on this later. and like I said before, I love Love!

Now, I like to learn and take something positive from my daily activities, and after using my own hard-earned data on YouTube for that long, I had to learn something.

I’m even at the age where Dede got married and my classmates are getting engaged and married upandan. It’s time to prepare for the future.😂

1. Your Friendship Algorithm May Change, but Still Keep Your Friends, You Just Might Need Them (or vice-versa).

I believe strongly in relationships with others, so I am a bit extra about friendship. When I call someone my actual friend, it’s deep. I can take it to levels that might even seem weird to other people.

Dede had this cute clique of err..unmarried friends. At a point, she had to ‘be a married woman’ and started becoming ‘busy’. It did put a strain on her, but when the chips were down, they still turned up for her when she was in distress, and she made more effort to be there for them.

I don’t know what marriage truly is like, but I have heard people say ‘Married people should not have single friends’ and to that, I say, ‘Tenkiu Sa for your advice’.

I know it may never be the same as before, but I don’t know that you should toss a good relationship out like that.

Does the bond immediately disappear after a ring is placed on the finger?

Can/ Will your ‘married’ friends show up when it truly matters?

We constantly say, ‘We make out time for what really matters’, and I do believe this is no exception.

2. You may have to start out small.

Like I said, this us a realistic show. Tee and Dede had this cute house which was modern but basic. Tee had a start-up which seemed to be doing well, but it was not extravagant. This is the reality of most newlyweds!

Those Hermés Bags, Louboutin Heels, Banana Island Mansions are initially Susen (if you know this brand,you are a real Lagos somebody), American Eagle ballerina Flats and Surulere flats for the most part.

It just made me rememeber that life can sometimes be fried yam… It gets hard before turning soft.

I know this one as a matter of fact, because I have watched it happen in real life. Some people marry into money, some make the money to marry, some marry and make money. No path is wrong here. It is what is it is. Make your own story, choose your own path.

It applies to other (non-financial)areas too. Dede had a lot of learning and getting-used-to to do because she was a virgin when she got married.

3. Some Secrets May Be Kept…?

Honestly, this one is a dicey something.

Some people say to keep some issues to yourself, others say never.

Well, taking the This Is It route, I say No… At least not for a long time. Dede kept major decision from Tee and it did not pan out well as it was quite evident that if she had told him earlier, life would have been so much easier for the two of them.

I believe that trust is important in relationships, and in marriage, it’s apparently paramount. Can there be actual trust with secrets in the picture? (No, really, this is a serious question)

From the This Is It point of view, secrets should not be kept in a marriage, it ruins good.

Unto the +1

Marriage is not an avenue to change your dreams.

It’s okay to tweak the journey but do not change your destination. Your time and means for goal completion may change, but the overall goal should not. However, if it does, it should not be, ‘I’m married now’.

Dede had no real time job for a while (saying anything else would be too much of a spoiler). She wanted to work, she had the opportunity to work, but she didn’t.

She lost what may have been major points for life, while her husband Tee was busy hitting Forbes( I didn’t understand why they could not just move together, but I guess this was to keep up with the show’s realness and relatability even though I am unhappy that this is what is considered ‘real’).

She did get around to it, and I was proud of her because she did really well at it too.

Compromise through sacrifice is a part of the process. I believe this goes for either husband or wife. You may have to move to another country, relate with family people you don’t like, do chores you may not enjoy, but if Tee and Dede are any thing to go by, for the one you love, it’s worth it!

These are the lessons I picked from My Favourite YouTube Series!

I don’t know if you can tell that I wrote this in 30 minutes on my phone because as we say in Nigeria, the spirit just entered me.

Unfortunately, the show is over (only two seasons) and I would really miss them.

Now, let’s take a moment to appreciate this work of art that is my husband, Nick Mutuma.

Please, I will not share him.

Do you watch YouTube Series? Please, do recommend some good ones in the comments!

Any #ThisIsItFam in the house? Lessons for us?

What have you learnt so far about marriage from yours or those around you? Am I wrong in these lessons?

What do you think (or know) about trust in marriage?

Please let us know in the comments.

Enjoy the rest of your week guys!!!

VENI, VIDI, AMAVI.

DESIRE.

Let’s play catch-up;
DESIRE’S WAKA || When I Actually Thought I Might Die
Six Types Of Couples You Definitely Me(e)t In University.
GUEST POST || Why Not Number One?
VESTURE || THE BODYCON DRESS
She Is Not A Plantain, She Is  A Pineapple!
Three Things Your Young Pharmacist Does Not Want You To Know.